didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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