I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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