Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
