i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
