why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
