U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
