Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
