the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
