It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
