You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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