i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
