There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
