Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
