i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
