brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
