The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
