well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
