She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize