Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
