All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
