I'm going to jail i love you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
