So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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