she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
