I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
