too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
