Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Rumble strips road head = magical
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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