Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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