yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
