I would go down on you faster than GM stock
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize