if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
