And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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