'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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