I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
