Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
