so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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