Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
