I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
