Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
