I'm sorry my penis didn't work
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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