i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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