i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
