You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
