.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
