you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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