Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
