So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
