you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize