i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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