New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
