dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
