Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize