We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
