I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize