How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
