I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh god it's open bar.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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