i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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