sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
