I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
