I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
