? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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