I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
