We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize