i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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