Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The best revenge is premature balding
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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