hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize