You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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