I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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